Day 21 – Second chance

“Where is another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of his special people? You will not stay angry with your people forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love.” Micah 7:18

Rene concludes her testimony, “My family and community saw me as a murderer. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I avoided people as much as possible and only went to work and home. How could I forgive myself? With the extra money earned, I bought baby clothes here and there and took them to the hospital while visiting her under strict supervision. While sitting next to her I wondered if she would ever see me as her mother. During my pregnancy, there were two songs I sang: “I have a roof up above me” and “There is no problem too big my sister”  (though I wasn’t saved, I still sang these). As I sat next to her crib, I sang these songs. I will never forget the moment this little girl looked at me as she recognised the songs and my heart rejoiced. All I could think was “Thank You, Lord, she recognised the songs”.

One of the charges against me was attempted murder and I had to appear before the family court too. Eventually, the family court gave my baby back into my care and though I was happy, I was worried because I had not one piece of clothing for this little girl. As I arrived home, people whom God placed in my life, who prayed for me, and even strangers brought bags of clothing, nappies, and baby goods. During the battle for my baby girl, I was saved. I could not believe God loved me this much and that He heard me.

On the eve of the last appearance in court for the attempted murder case, the police officer visited me to prepare me for the court judgement and told me that it would be a minimum of fifteen years. Again, I broke and cried and pleaded with the Lord. “What about my children?” I wondered. I remember one of my thoughts was that if God needed me in jail, then I was okay with it. I trust Him. I will have faith like I named my little girl. The morning in court it felt like they were talking about another person, I wasn’t that Rene anymore. God, in all His glory, showed me grace and the doors to fifteen years of jail time were shut. I received five years suspended sentence, which meant I did not go to jail and could care for my children. I could not believe it and knew that it was only God.

Since then, I tell my little daughter every day how very special she is and that God protects her and loves her more than I do. Today, fifteen years later, she has a dance ministry for the Lord and blesses people wherever she goes.”

I am privileged to receive video clips from Rene of Tamara’s dances and am blessed by her graceful movements as you can truly see the guidance of the Holy Spirit in every movement.

Prayer: Father, how great are You, my King! Thank You for giving Rene the courage to share this testimony with us so that we can learn so much of Your goodness, grace and mercy through her journey. Lord, I pray that You would give courage to other women to share their stories with the world too, because each testimony holds the truth of what Jesus did for us on the cross. Amen.