Day 18 – Understanding Love Languages in marriage

“𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘹 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴, 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢𝘧𝘢𝘳. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴.” 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘣𝘴 31:13–15

My husband could never quite understand why I keep myself busy all the time. In fact, I love seeing him busy as well, but he is more of a person who enjoys cuddling and giving me hugs. Over the years, I’ve come to accept that he is naturally more laid‑back and relaxed, and he has accepted that I am not a physical contact person but someone who likes to stay active and involved.

However, when my son got engaged, they took a pre‑marriage course, and part of that involved a love language questionnaire. Naturally, my son asked us to do the questionnaire as well. To our surprise, we discovered that my love language is seeing my husband busy and productive, while his is to give compliments and have constant physical contact. After years of marriage, we finally understood each other better.

Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the popular book 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 which helped couples worldwide to understand each other on a more intimate level. You can download the Love language questionnaire here: https://womenoftheword.co.za/resources/

Prayer: Father, thank You for teaching us to understand each other’s love languages. Help us to grow in patience and acceptance, and to celebrate the differences that make our marriages stronger. Amen. ©

Marie Swanepoel